Well, folks, we finally made it home. Apologies for not providing updates on the return trip as we sped across the South at the speed that a child’s bladder fills, but we didn’t have reliable computer access for the past several days. As best I recall, my last update was from Asheville on Wednesday morning, so I’ll pick up the trail from there. Here are the highpoints from the last half of the week:
WEDNESDAY: We had a great hike and nature walk at the North Carolina Arboretum outside Asheville. The kids really enjoyed spotting lizards and mushrooms, eating wild blueberries (esp. Jack), seeing the tree that was planted in memory of Matt Henry, and eating a cookie in the rocking chairs after the hike. From there we headed to the old standby ChikFilA and then on to Wall-E. The kids—for that matter, the adults, too—enjoyed the movie. Sammy enjoyed the first 30 minutes, at least—then he fell asleep in Daddy’s arms. We were all really impressed by the messages about waste and conservation that the kids got from the movie. After we got home, we had a huge Wii tournament—Jack knocked out Uncle Sambo, much to Sambo’s chagrin—and then the adults headed out for the evening to a show in Greenville, SC. The show—Avenue Q—was a lot of fun; the best description is an R-rated, cynical version of Sesame Street. As this is a family show, further description isn’t appropriate, but I did manage to find out (finally) what the internet is for. (See http://www.avenueq.com/soundtrack.html if you’re not sure.)
THURSDAY/ASHEVILLE: Early Thursday morning, while the rest of the troops were continuing their destruction of the backyard, Sambo took Jack to Waffle House for a little Godfather-godson bonding. As the rest of us were starving after packing up our week’s worth of gear and cleaning—as best we could—up S&K’s once-lovely home, we repacked the car and headed back to downtown Asheville for our obligatory trip to Tupelo Honey (www.tupelohoneycafe.com). Wow. That place never gets old and the food is incredible; what a great way to cap off a fantastic trip to Asheville. After our meal (Eggs Betty for Cathy, a granola sweet potato pancake for me) we had to walk off our food coma before getting on the road, so we set off to Mast’s General Store, where the kids each got a t-shirt and I got a bag full of hard candy…for the kids. (Incidentally, you inevitably learn something about people when you travel halfway across the country with them. Despite the fact that Cathy and I have been together for so long, I learned [or re-learned, as the case may be] on this trip that Cathy doesn’t like hard candy. Sorry, sweetie!) On the way back to the car, I stopped at Jack of the Wood (a favorite pub where we didn’t have the chance to stop for a beer, unfortunately) and bought a pint glass and t-shirt for myself. Jack had a hard time getting in the car after all the special time with Sambo, but we eventually got everyone strapped in, said our goodbyes, and reluctantly hit the road. It was an awesome time with Sambo and Kendra—thanks again for the great visit and wonderful hosting!
THURSDAY/ROAD: With Asheville in our rearview mirror, we started our trip back to Texas with our first planned stop in Decatur, GA. What a beautiful drive. We headed off west along the southern border of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park into the Nantahala National Forest in western NC, and then on into the Cherokee National Forest and the Ocoee Recreational Area in eastern TN. We didn’t move too quickly here, but the scenery was well worth it. Most of the driving was done alongside rivers, and we saw a lot of kayaking and white water rafting—especially at an unplanned potty stop at the whitewater kayak venue for the 1996 Atlanta Olympics! What a fortuitous stop—and a great facility that they’ve kept up for travelers. We got some good pics on a suspension bridge over the Ocoee River there. I’m now regretting not buying the t-shirt I saw there that said “Paddle faster…I hear banjo music!” We’ve decided that we need to return when the kids are bigger to explore this area more and take everyone rafting. We finally drove out of the Appalachian Mountains and skirted Chattanooga to the south, with a brief dip into Georgia (our 5th state of the trip). I made my first big navigational error looping around C-Nooga when I missed my exit to look at a low flying jet. It was only 10 miles (!!!) to the next exit. Oh well…once we got back on track, we headed west and south to Huntsville, AL (state no. 6) where we made a detour to the (then closed) US Space and Rocket Center. We could see the 363 foot tall Saturn V rocket they have standing up outside the Center for about 5 miles before we got there at about 6 pm. What an amazing site—we got great pictures of the kids looking up and standing under one of the five huge rockets. We also saw a stealth fighter and a Space Shuttle outside the Center—we were able to drive right up because Space Camp was going on at the time, and we just pretended we were supposed to be there! After this very fun detour, we drove another 15 miles to Decatur and our lovely and gracious hostess, Jackie Goode (and her dog, Kuma). Miss Jackie thrilled the kids with the news that she had a pool—and that they could swim! This was incredibly our first swimming of the trip, and the kids had a ball. While the kids and I were swimming, Cathy went to the famous Big Bob Gibson’s BBQ joint (www.bigbobgibson.com) that was a mere 3 minutes away and returned with smoky pulled pork, tender ribs whose meat would fall off the bone if you looked at them cross-eyed, wonderful coleslaw and other delicious sides. After a great meal for us (and much complaining by the under 9 set, except for our carnivore Jack, who liked the pork), we finally put some tired kids to bed. Sam lasted all of 45 minutes on his pallet, and then he kicked me out of the bed and I spent the night on the floor in the kids’ room. While at Ms. Jackie’s, Cathy and I enjoyed looking at all of Jackie’s original art, as well as some classic pictures of her daughter and our friend, Christy.
FRIDAY: We had an early morning on Friday, as Miss Jackie had already warned us that she was not a morning person (!) and we had a ways to go. We made a trip through downtown Decatur, but since one of the kids blinked we made another trip back through. Actually, Decatur was a very nice little town. We got to see Miss Jackie’s store and lots of quaint little cottages. On the way out of town, we filled up at Waffle House and then continued our trip towards home, first heading south to Birmingham and then cutting west towards Tuscaloosa. (I should note that I was outvoted in our route, as I had wanted to head west from Decatur to Tupelo, MS, which is Elvis’ birthplace. Not to mention the link to our favorite restaurant in Asheville. Or the Van Morrison song. However, as I was driving and not navigating, I was given different directions. Oh well.) We really lost our mountain scenery the day before, so this day was shaping up to be a relatively flat and boring drive, so we wanted to make the most of what we could see on the road. We actually had a specific goal in Tuscaloosa, which was to visit (of all things) the Best Western. On our return trip from Sambo & Kendra’s wedding, we stayed in this Best Western and were amused to find three huge elephant statues outside the lobby. We took pictures but knew that Will would LOVE the statues…which he absolutely did. He was overjoyed to see them and have his picture taken riding the baby elephant. In fact, when we got home, the first thing he asked for was a print of the picture of him riding the elephant! It is hung with pride at the head of his bed. After leaving the Best Western, we continued through Tuscaloosa and stopped at the open air US Veteran’s Memorial. It is curiously placed in front of a strip mall, but the kids loved looking at and reading about the jeep, antiaircraft guns, tank, jet fighter, and other equipment they had on display. They especially liked the Huey helicopter that was a replica of what Big Mike used to fly. After an unremarkable lunch (honestly, they all started to blur together), we continued to head south towards Meridian (passing up the opportunity to see the Jimmie Rodgers Museum) and then west toward Jackson. We had a reservation in Pearl, MS that we actually tried to change to Vicksburg because we made such good time, but there was no room at the inn in Vicksburg (thanks, La Quinta) so we stopped as planned. Our hotel (located conveniently for others near the Jackson airport) was not special, but for three things: the availability of a pool, the breakfast, and the scenery at breakfast. After swimming, there was dinner, which was again unremarkable.
SATURDAY, a/k/a OMEGA DAY: Saturday dawned in Pearl, MS a bright and sunshiny day full of promise. At least the promise of home at the end of the day—a figurative light at the end of the tunnel, or a garage at the end of the road trip. We sallied forth from our room and headed out for the breakfast buffet at LQ. It was a hit in many ways: all the kids enjoyed the donuts, Annie and Jack noshed on the hardboiled eggs, and the little boys hit the Fruit Loops, while I went for a sausage-egg-and-cheese biscuit and then a chicken biscuit. In my humble opinion, it was the best free hotel breakfast of the trip. (Faint praise, however…it was one of only three and we skipped the one in Cookeville, TN. Or was it Crossville?) But even better than the breakfast options was the viewing at breakfast. Our first notable scenery came with the super-tatted “Ed Hardy” couple who came to breakfast in their jammies. She was, well, very well enhanced—you might even say pneumatic, and she called him “Babe” incessantly. “Babe, do you want a biscuit?” He was too cool for school, and he mostly ignored her. “Babe, do you want a hard boiled egg?” They had very prominent tattoos and I was amazed at our kids’ restraint in not commenting on this couple; Cathy and I didn’t do as well as they did. “Babe, did you see her…?” I hadn’t seen anything that graphic since Avenue Q. The couple went upstairs to their room, and we had relative peace until the second act started, beginning with a young man with what was probably the best t-shirt of the trip. It was black, had the sleeves cut off, and a picture of a present on the front. The tag on the present read “TO: Women, FROM: God.” He was a piece of work, as was his inappropriately clingy sister, the tattooed mother, and the grandmother who was laying on a guilt trip for them not visiting more often. It didn’t take long for us to realize, upon “Babe’s” return, that they were all related. This definitely started our morning on a high note.
After getting packed up, we headed west to Vicksburg, where we paid our $8/car entry fee and parked right in the front row, Bob Uecker style. Our car was right in front of a period rifle and cannon exhibition, and we had a personal demonstration of the loading and firing of a rifle by some local high school volunteers. Jack especially loved picking up the spent primer caps all over the ground. Next came a hands on demonstration of the firing procedure of the Napoleon cannon, and Annie and I were picked out of the crowd to play roles (Number 2 and Number 1, respectively). My job was swabbing the bore with a wet sponge (keep your mind out of the gutter, kids) and Annie got to load the cannon. The rest of the kids got to take part in a later demonstration: Jack played the gunner (called out the signals for all of the “Numbers” and aimed the cannon), Will was Number 5 (he pulled the lanyard to fire the cannon), and Sam was a reluctant Number 2.
After that, the volunteers actually went through a drill and fired the cannon. Very cool…but it was incredibly hot. We couldn’t believe that the volunteers were wearing authentic woolen uniforms! After the demo, we made a short trip through the gift shop, where everyone got a little something (Annie a bonnet, Jack and Sam replica coins, and Will a puzzle), and then we headed off on the 18 mile tour, guided by our CD. It was a very neat tour, just a little long after the hour spent outside at the rifles and cannon. We made a brief detour to see the restored wreckage of the Union ship Cairo, saw a turkey running through the Union cemetery (the largest final resting place of Union soldiers in the South), and stopped for a picture of the Texas monument. All in all, it was pretty cool—just long. We abandoned our plan to drive through historic Vicksburg in the hopes of feeding our troops, miscalculated badly by passing up a McDonalds right outside the gates of the Vicksburg national park, crossed the Mississippi for the final time, and ended up 20 miles later at a McDonalds in Tallulah, Louisiana. (Incidentally, we had deliberately avoided McDonalds and other fast food restaurants on the trip, with the exception of ChikFilA in Cookeville…or was it Crossville?...opting for more traditional sit down fare where we could. However, as we’d pushed the kids with the over-long stop at Vicksburg, and as it was the last day, we thought that the kids deserved it…and that the stop might buy us a little peace. And it did.) After lunch, it was a sprint toward the finish line. We had 7 minutes of rain in Louisiana, during which the temperature dropped from 98 to 80, and then immediately back up to 98 after the rain stopped. It was 189 miles across Louisiana (Monroe, Ruston, Grambling, Minden, Bossier City—but no gambling, and Shreveport were the highpoints), and then finally back home to Texas! At the state line, Cathy had the wise idea of playing Pat Green’s “Way Back, Texas,” which the kids loved and sang along. A brief stop at the welcome center with a pic at the Texas sign, and then homeward bound! We tried—but just couldn’t—make it back home without stopping, so we stopped at Two Senoritas in Canton. Ugh. Not the welcome home we anticipated. In any event, we finally drove in the driveway at 8:40 pm, 8 ½ days, 9 states and 2240.6 miles after leaving home. We had the kids inside, the car completely unpacked, and the kids in bed by 9:15.
All things considered, it was a great trip. We have so many people to thank for the great times we had—Sam & Kendra for being our hosts, Jackie in Decatur for being our hostess, Barbara for trading cars with us for the week, Dennis (next door) for ignoring my instruction to “forget” to feed the cat… With some introspection and discussion since the trip ended, Cathy and I have decided that we need to become travel writers. You know, a combination of Rick Steves and “Jon and Kate Plus 8.” We’ll call it, “What Not To Do When Traveling With Your Kids, or Us Versus Them.” This way, everyone can learn from our mistakes…er, experiences.
We’re in the process of putting together a Shutterfly album of our pics, including selected pictures from the kids’ cameras, as well as the pics that S&K graciously gave us on disk before we left. If you’re interested, let me know and we’ll forward on that information when it’s ready.
If you’ve gotten this far, you’re a glutton for punishment…or you’re a grandparent. Sorry it’s taken me this long to finish the recap—we returned to Dallas tired, poor, and to a computer on the fritz! Thanks for reading…and stay tuned for the next Hutton roadtrip! Signing off, I’m Clark Griswold…
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